What it’s like to be a foster carer: Ant & Kaz’s Story

How long have you been a foster carer?

We were accepted by panel in February 2018 and our first placement commenced in February 2019.

How many children have you fostered?

One

What made you get into foster care?

When we first got together, we knew we wanted a family and discussed all options as to whether our children would be biological, adopted or fostered. We were blessed to fall pregnant with twins. Having twins was amazing, watching them grow and develop into their personalities.

We wanted to give another child an opportunity for a happy, secure and loving home, so when we moved and had a spare room, we decided to apply to be foster carers. We moved on the 12th May 2017 and made the call and spoke with Judy at Time Out Fostering during the last week of May and she started the process for us.

What do you think are the main skills needed to be a good foster carer?

Good communication & listening skills – these are so important
Patience
Understanding
Empathy
Sense of humour

How do you manage the relationship with your existing family and introducing a foster child ?

We talked openly and honestly to our girls, keeping them involved. We allowed them opportunities to ask any questions or discuss any worries they may have. This was the same for our foster child.

We had the opportunity to meet with our foster child first, then he came to the house to have a look around and meet the girls. He then had an overnight stay and a date was set for him to move in – I know that this is not always the case, but for us it was a huge benefit and certainly helped with the transition.

We knew our foster child has a love of animals, as do we, so we focussed on this; dog walks together, caring for the guinea pigs and scoring who got the most friendly bops from the cat!

What’s the most rewarding thing about being a foster carer?

The feeling that you are making a difference to a young person and opening up opportunities for them. Watching them grow in confidence is really rewarding.

What are the biggest challenges associated with being a foster carer?

Our most challenging experience was boundary setting, with regards to time limits that were acceptable for computer games and when to come off these games at night, to aid sleep and sleep patterns. We subsequently reached a compromise which was acceptable for all.

With any challenges you may be faced with during fostering, you always have the reassurance that someone from Time Out Fostering is at the end of the phone / an email, to support you day and night. We also receive regular supervision with our senior social worker, allowing us opportunities to discuss any concerns.

What’s the funniest / most memorable thing that has happened during your time as a foster carer?

This has to be when our foster child had completed a certain part of his animal care course at college and he was demonstrating to the girls how to bath the guinea pigs – I think the 3 of them got more wet than the guinea pigs. It was quite a special moment and we all laughed lots, not sure the guinea pigs were overly amused though!!

How does Time Out Fostering Support you with work as a foster carer?

Regular supervision really helps, as you can talk through anything that you wish to discuss and no question is regarded as silly.

Time Out Fostering gives you access to online and face-to-face training, allowing you to share experiences and develop new skills. Knowing that they are accessible 24/7 is reassuring in itself.

They are an extremely friendly team who are always approachable and willing to guide and support in all situations.

If you had to give one bit of advice to people thinking about becoming a foster carer, what would you say?

Do it, without a doubt! The satisfaction of knowing you are making a difference is huge!

If you work and feel that you can’t foster because of that, don’t be deterred. We work, and while it takes some juggling at times, we wouldn’t have it any other way!